THE CHILD IN CHURCH
by Judith Gonzales

(A series of tips for parents about their children’s experiences in church and growing in faith.) 

#2 FIRST PRAYERS How children are able to “attend” at mass is dependent on their exposure to the prayer life of their parents. Parents who begin praying with their children as soon as they are born know how immediately, children focus on their lips after they finish making the sign of the cross.       Everyone knows the prayer that goes; “Now I lay me down to sleep…” When Franco, my son, arrived in our home, we began praying with him. We adapted portions of this prayer and added to it. Our version goes: “Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord, my soul to keep. Give me a good night’s rest Lord so I can wake up feeling refreshed. Amen.” Then we would add our petitions of asking our Lord to bless each member of the family, our close friends, our household staff and the priests who minister to us.

In the mornings we composed a prayer all our own:” Thank you Lord for a good night’s rest. Thank you Lord, for a day so blest. Thank you God for family and friends. Thank you Lord, for giving us the best! Amen. Then we add whatever special intention we may have. Preparing for Easter Now as our children experience another Lenten Season, we can introduce them to the concept of mortification: to give up something we specially like and offer it for a special intention. This may include : giving up watching videos,  not playing with beyblades or not eating at a favorite fastfood during Lent. Mom and Dad can present choices in terms of the special intention: to offer the mortification up for the children who are terminally ill or those who are experiencing pain or for all children and their families who do not have enough food to eat, etc. Funds that are saved from not eating out or foregoing buying a toy may be put in the family’s or the child’s penitential bag. By living our faith with our children, the celebration of Easter will be more meaningful! The experience of lovingly offering our sacrifices and prayers for others will help spell our success of ‘doing and loving as Jesus did.’    Happy Easter, everyone!

#1 PREPARING FOR CHURCH The Filipino child is fortunate in that we as a people are wont to take our children to church from the time they born. Never mind the reminders that the pediatricians give the parents about refraining from exposing their infants and toddlers to crowded places. Families go to church with their children in tow including newborn infants! Unfortunately this “custom” does not allow many of us parents to consider the importance and need of preparing the children for going to church so that they are given a chance to progressively increase their understanding of why we go to church and the benefits we reap from it individually and as a family. As early as when the child is a toddler, we can work on preparing him/her for mass. Physically, we have to make sure that the child is rested; is not hungry and has completed his daily ritual of bathing and toileting. This way Mom and Dad will not be distracted with having to take their child out to attend to his personal needs while the mass is going on. It is possible for very young children to pay attention, the act of sitting, standing and kneeling allows the child to move, encouraged by Mom and Dad as he/she does so with increased refinement.  No parent must feel that they have to stay outdoors while the mass is going on because they have young children with them. Being comfortably dressed is very important. Set aside clothes for church, the child’s “Sunday best!” These we hang apart from what our children use to play and go to school in. Thus, we eliminate the possibility of arguments and tantrums ensuing from the inappropriate choices the child may make in terms of what to wear to church.

To facilitate the choice of clothes for church can help all members of the family keep a pleasant disposition as we prepare to meet our Lord for the celebration of the Holy Eucharist. One way to emphasize the importance of our Sunday mass is to make sure that we arrive in church on time. With very young children this means arriving around fifteen minutes before the beginning of the mass. This will give Mom and Dad time to take the children who need to relieve themselves to the restroom and to choose a suitable place where the family can be seated. Choosing to sit close to the exit is always helpful when you have young children with you. However, it lly important to choose a place wis equahere the children can see the priest, this helps hold their attention.  Throughout the mass, from beginning to end, we parents must make sure that we are not distracted. It is prudent to turn off our mobile phones to keep us focused.  We are our children’s role models, our love for our Lord that we show through the enthusiasm and fervent way we participate in the mass will influence the attitude and love our children will have for The Eucharist. The hour we spend with our Lord at mass can be made very special by how we prepare ourselves and our children; how we participate with joy; and lastly how “we give thanks for all the benefits we receive.”        Ash Wednesday, last March 9,  marked the beginning of the Lenten Season. There will be so many opportunities to have the children “experience” our faith. One way is to help your child become acquainted with sacrifice. Giving up a meal at Jollibee or McDo, your child can put the money you would have spent in a small alms bag that he can fill up and give to the church for our poor brothers and sisters. More next time… Ms. Patria Judith S. Gonzalez has a bachelor’s degree in Family Life and Child Development from the University of the Philippines. She is a Montessori trained guide at the Infant Community, Primary and Elementary levels and has been teaching for the past thirty years.